Sunday, April 03, 2005



None of us are perfect.

We all have scars, lines, stretch marks, moles, & birthmarks that stare us back in the mirror daily to remind us of how imperfect we actually are.

Our teeth are too big, too small, or some that are missing… We have too much or too little hair in all the wrong places. Our feet stink, our breath is bad, and our underarms smell.

Our bodies sag and bloat in certain areas so much so that we shove plastic bags in ourselves to correct it, or insert hoses into our bodies to vacuum the imperfectness out.

Those of us with straight hair, wish it had body. Those of us who are curly… flat irons.

We use dye, make-up, and perfumes to change, cover-up, and disguise what we really are like.

Some of us can only see far away, some only see close up. Some of us can’t see at all.

We inject ourselves with ink in a painful process called tattooing to celebrate our unique individuality. Yet, more often then not, our expression of “uniqueness” is picked from a wall or stolen from this week’s favorite MTV/ESPN/Cooking Channel Pop Star….(or maybe it was just a drunken weekend down in Cabo San Lucas.)

We love the opposite sex. We love the same sex. We love sex period! Some of us even love sex with animals……(excluding the Giraffe….that which I have not yet seen… yet…)

Some of us eat too much. Some of us eat too little. Some of us eat so much that we make ourselves throw-up and end up dying of starvation.

We pierce, we peel, we pluck, and we paint ourselves for what??? To be loved and accepted by someone who is plucked and painted to our specifications?

And I’m just “scratching the surface” (get it?)…..these are the things that we feel are imperfect on the OUTSIDE of our bodies….!! What about the insides? Our minds, our souls, ourSELVES?

I’m gonna stop right there, cause the minute I start talking about what goes on in peoples heads is the minute I start writing my own self-help book…..and I figured that self-help books were supposed to be for one’s SELF!!

Put the SELF Help industry out of business by everyone going and writing their OWN SELF-help book. What works for John Doe ain’t necessarily gonna work for Jen X. Spend some time to figure out what it is that makes you a positive influence in this world instead of letting someone (or something) spoon feed you their agenda.

And I guess that’s my point….

Do whatever you want to with yourselves and your bodies….
Doll yourself up. Smell like a rose. Electrolyses every follicle of hair off your pimply ass…..but don’t do it cause the T.V. said to “just do it”.

Be an individual on your own terms, not a statistical demographic from a nationwide ad campaign.

Love what you do to yourself. Don’t do things to yourself in hopes of others loving you any more or any less.

Regardless of how you think you look, there is someone who desperately wishes they could have what you feel needs to be altered or changed. Don’t feel guilty about it; just realize it once in awhile.

And if I were to write a self-help book….it would be about a sentence long:

“Take the time to figure out your own SELF. No matter how dumb we act from time to time, we are ALL smart enough to figure ourselves out…besides is there anyone else that you have spent more time with in your life other then yourself? Answer: no one” THE END

Edward James Almos and Bryan Adams were screen and pop star idols despite their scarred faces. Cindy Crawford makes millions because of a brown, hairy (just guessing) birthmark prominently displayed right above her lip. Christy Canyon will go down in porn star history not for her acting ability, but for her huge saggy tits. Madonna, J-Lo, and Prince are all megalomaniac bitchy short people….who cares?

We are all perfect.

…..except for those of you having sex with giraffes…..go get some fuckin’ help……

JJ King

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