Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The Mole Report: "Dirty Diamonds are Forever" Tour '05

"Here I go again on my own......going down the only road I've ever known...."- Do you know just how difficult it was to finally decide on the perfect WhiteSnake quote to start this blog?!?......

Greetings..... I am the Mole!

And although I am not entirely alone (there are a bunch of great guys in this years AC group line-up, see below) I do find myself at this second sitting (alone) in a Arizona Hotel Suite (albeit an AmeriSuite) getting ready for yet another Big Rock Show Alice Cooper Tour, typing away at 6:06 am, and missing the family which has recently been upgraded from "couple & baby" to "Roxie Super Cult" with the addition of one Natashia Grace, born on May 9th, 2005. Welcome to the world Natashia!!.....now papa's gotta spilt for the next 7 months....

Now before you start getting all "concerned" and feeling sorry for the guy that has to leave his newly expanded family and be away for the better part of the next year, STOP right there! Cause like I said many times before....this is one of the best jobs I could ever ask for. There are not many out there that get to see the world the way I get to see it, meet the amazing people that inhabit it (a.k.a. YOU!), or be able to afford to take the time off in between tours. I always said that if I ever bitch about having the life I've been able to live, then punch me! (Well, don't really punch me, I'm too vain for that you know!).....Besides, when I think about all the brave men and women that are serving in the Armed Forces that have no choice but to be away from their families for MUCH longer time periods and under MUCH worse conditions, it puts everything into perspective. Oh yeah, that and the fact that they have to dodge f#*%king bullets......

So don't feel so bad for me, rather just take a second to think a hopeful thought for the guys and gals stationed somewhere they don't really wanna be (let's be honest, at this point even the biggest of war-mongers didn't still think we'd be considered "occupiers"), and hope that they can come home soon.....

So.......like I've stated before, these blogs are like my therapy, so basically you can consider yourself a psychological voyeur.....happy? Well I feel much better now, and ready to talk about the business at hand. "So much time and so little to do".....strike that and reverse it (thank you Willy Wonka for helping me invent my own language!).....just what IS going on in the world of Camp Roxie?

For those of you that are on the fast track and just want 7 facts (didn't have 77 of them)...here ya go:

1. Moved to Sweden with the family
2. Had a baby girl
3. Finished a new Alice Cooper record called "Dirty Diamonds" coming out this summer
4. Gonna be touring with AC until Dec.
5. Have a new line of Roxie77 merch that will be available at the shows and on the Roxie77 website
6. Starting a "Pod-Cast" called "Roxie's Big Rock Show"
7. Will do my best to have a new R77 cd completed by early-mid '06

And for those of you that can't get enough of my garrulous banter, here is the long form:

1. The move to Sweden........well, the most asked question so far has been "How is Svvvwwweeeedeen?" and all I can easily answer the question by saying...."I don't know......"
Honestly, I don't think I'll be able to give Sweden a fair judgment until we live through one or two of the crazy "dark periods" which basically happens from Nov-Feb. I was lucky enough to travel back and forth to the States so I've only really spent a little over 2 1/2 months there so far......I will tell you this though, it's one of the most beautiful cities in the world and in my heart I know we did the right thing by making the move.....we'll get back to this question in about 2 years and see then, shall we?

2. Little Natashia Grace is just amazing....if you would like to go see any pictures of her, you can go to the myspace website and search on ryan roxie, or just click on the link at the bottom of this email. Lennon has been waaaaayyy more then cool to her and he even blesses her when she sneezes......"Mama, Papa, Lennon, NaTASHIA......friends!"....that is one of Lennon's favorite quotes, and it breaks our hearts every-time he says it....

3. We finished writing and recording the new Alice Cooper CD entitled "Dirty Diamonds".......If "the Eyes" was a return to more of the "garage" sound, think of "Diamonds" as the "tool shed"!.... It actually has a larger spectrum of music on it as far as styles go. You can hear the influences of all the Alice characters and voices on this record. It's heavy, light, pop, and rock n' roll all at the same time. Very few artists are allowed to make records these days that have as many styles as this one has on it. Alice is in a unique position to to that. Mostly thanks to all you "Sick Things" out there...

And judging from some of the fan forum reviews, the response has been very good so far. Heyyyy.....just HOW did you get that copy!??! ..... Well, if you downloaded it for free, next time you see me, just slide me 1 dollar and give me "the look" and we'll both know and move on with our lives.....! And you think I'm joking...? ha!

4. The dates for the new Alice Cooper Dirty Diamonds Tour are forever!....get it?...So one way or another I'm sure we will be playing either your local stadium or civic center in the coming year. And don't think for a second that we are not going to surprise you with this years set list. All I can say is break out the kleenex, and your bic lighters, it's acoustic ballad time baby!!....The new stage set is right out of a Paris graveyard complete with a purple velvet coffin.....and.......Leeeeyyyy Guuuuuiioootttiiinnne!!! You'll also experience "the Piece".....Piece of Mind? Piece of Crap?.....no......simply...The Piece......Killer Dude, Killer....ooops, have I given away another clue perhaps.....??!!

This years line up features DamonJohnson.com on guitar, ChuckGarric.com on bass, your humble host on guitar roxie77.com......and just like an unexpected herpes outbreak....it's the RETURN of Eric-Singer.com on drums!! ...And, oh yeah....the guy with the funny eye make-up that keeps us all employed on lead vocals. Please feel free to check out all the guys individual websites.....Alice even has his own website, although he looks a little like a baby deer when he stares into my Macintosh screen....Infact check out the alicecooper.com website for a list of dates. I think we might also have them posted at the roxie77 website under the "special offer" link which offers yet another year of guitar/bass lessons with the good people over at IMG.

5. When you say Roxie77 swag, can you say...."Coin Purse!?!?!" yeah yeah yeah.....ya don't have to be an 80 year old man to enjoy the wonders and amazement of your very own R77 coin purse. Plus we have an all new "Pan-Am" logo style R77 halter shirt available for all the ladies and cross-dressers out there....AND back by popular demand, the return of the R77 Wonka Shirt.....All that along with plenty of shrink-wrapped copies of Roxie77's debut cd: Peace, Love & Armageddon.....check out the website or email me to see the styles and prices. And if you know that you are coming to the big rock show and know that you want some Roxie swag, drop me an email and we'll arrange a drop-off/pick-up point (just like an Argentinean kidnapping/ ransom money scenario!)

6. "Coming to you somewhere between Stockholm and Sweden, It's ROXIE'S BIG ROCK SHOW.....'cause wherever you are is the place to be...." Yeah I stole the quote from Damon, sue me (actually, please don't sue me Warner Brothers, you'll probably win!)......In case you haven't heard about the next big new thing, just ask the 12 year old kid that lives next door. You know, the same kid that turned you on to text messaging and using the word "bounce" instead of just "leaving". After he explains that the next big thing(s) are Jessica Simpsons breasts in the "new" Dukes of Hazzard movie (although you'll always be a sucker for 'ol school Catherine Bach as Daisy), he'll probably tell ya Pod-Casting baby, Pod Casting.....think of it as TiVo for your iPod. (If you have to ask yourself what an iPod is, then just skip this section....(you'll figure it out as soon as you realize that programming a VCR is futile!).....Pod Casting will allow you to download a biweekly (let's hope) "big rock show" starring your humble host. I'll be pulling favors from all the cast of characters I've been able to meet over the years, and bring you their stories as well as their music. I will also of course play music from the 104 bands that I have been a part of over the years as well....Stay tuned to the roxie77.com web site or the myspace.com website for the launch date info. One thing for sure, of all the pod-casts that are out there today, Roxie's Big Rock Show will be one of them!

7. How the hell can I introduce a new line of swag without even a new line of music written??....(Silk-screening baby, that's how!).....but that being said, I have been and will continue to be writing songs for the next R77 record which I plan on recording as soon as the "Dirty Diamonds last Forever" '05Tour is wrapped up....Do something memorable at one of the shows and maybe it will show up on the next R77 album in the form of a song....BUT!!! and I DO mean BUT: Think "Madonna & Brittany" not "John Hinkly Jr.".....thank you.


So that about wraps it up for this pre-tour rant.....off to the world down-under to hang out with The Divinyls and eat tons of Vegimite off of Natalie Imbruglia's shoulders.........here we come Australia.....don't hate us because of our exchange-rate....love us for our bland accents!

And to ALL the rest of you good souls out there that have stood by the 'ol Moles prose, thank you, and I hope to hear from you by dropping by the website, or MySpace, or seeing ya out there with your "mole" banners that always put a smile on my face! You ALL have been soooo supportive in participating in this circus. And it's my personal goal to get the word out this year that "It's not what you are on the inside, it's what you look like on the outside!" Strike that, reverse it!.....thanks a lot Willy Wonka..(again..)!!!

See you good people soon!

Enjoy the noise......

Roxie a.k.a. The Mole.......


Points of Interest:

Due to All Spam-fighting software out there, you will notice that there are very few (if any) hyperlinks in this email.....that means that in order to track the links down you will have to do the 'ol school copy-paste thing with the names and add your own www. sooooo...... the links for me would be:

roxie77.com

myspace.com/ryanroxie

roxie77.blogspot.com/

Also, some super crazed R77'ers have started a chat group over at:

groups.yahoo.com/group/Ryan_Roxie_77/

check it all out and if this blog entertained you, turn on a friend!.....

Good Luck in your search and hope to hear from ya soon.....!


This is our world, our time, and our place....we can pay tribute to the
past, and speculate about the future, but the only thing for sure is RIGHT
NOW....so make the most of it. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is uncertain,
today you shine.....If you're going to heaven, congratulations...if you're
going straight to hell, you might as well enjoy the ride....R77